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The Psychology of Jealousy and Envy

Edited by peter salovey.

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  • description A fter decades of banishment to popular magazines and advice columns, jealousy and envy have emerged as legitimate topics of scientific inquiry. This volume includes chapters from nearly every major contributor to the psychological literature in this area. From emotional, and cognitive processes that underlie jealousy and envy; to the ways these emotions are experienced and expressed within close relationships; to family, societal, and cultural contexts, the volume offers a definitive statement of current theory and research. -->
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7 Books About Jealousy Representation

Books on envy characters.

Books About Jealousy Representation

Welcome to a literary journey that ventures into the heart of one of our most compelling and universal emotions: jealousy. This green-eyed monster, as Shakespeare aptly named it, has been a source of inspiration for storytellers and writers throughout the ages. From the silent whispers of envy to the loud roars of rivalry, jealousy shapes characters and narratives in ways that are profound, devastating, and sometimes surprisingly redemptive.

If you’re fascinated by the exploration of human emotions and the intricate dynamics they create in our relationships, then this post is tailor-made for you. We’re about to dive into a carefully curated list of books that not only represent jealousy in its many forms but also offer insight into the human condition. These stories will take us on a journey through the shadows of envy, the complexities of desire, and the transformative power of understanding. So, prepare to go into the depths of jealousy with an open mind and a keen eye for the lessons it can teach us about love, loss, and the path to forgiveness.

7 Books About Jealousy

Jealousy is a universal emotion that everyone experiences to some degree, yet its manifestations and impacts can vary widely. It arises in the context of interpersonal relationships, whether romantic, familial, or platonic. Books about jealousy representation cover the psychology behind jealousy, exploring its root causes, triggers, and effects on individuals and relationships. By understanding jealousy more deeply, you gain insight into the intricacies of human emotions and interpersonal dynamics. Here are seven books on jealousy trope. Let’s go!

1. Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior

Some people refer to this book as the OCD Bible. It will be particularly valuable if you have been prone to obsessive thinking. Suppose you’re truly dealing with obsessive-compulsive thinking or jealousy around your partner’s past or interested in looking at OCD from a scientific standpoint. In that case, it is the best book on the market.

The book doesn’t acknowledge or deal with retroactive jealousy specifically. Brain Lock is a great place to start if you want to find an escape route from obsessive thinking.

psychology jealousy books

Author: Jeffrey M. Schwartz Publisher: Harper Perennial, Anniversary Edition Average Rating: 4.6/5 Tropes: Mood Disorders, OCD, Psychiatry Number Of Pages: 272 Item Weight: 7.2 ounces Dimensions: 5.31 x 0.61 x 8 inches Available: Audiobook | Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle | Audio CD

2. Scarred Queen (The Queens)

This book will work for you if you like the mafia, dark, alcohol, jealousy, and possess. But there is a huge content warning for domestic abuse. Specifically, our main character is married to a different mafia boss, and he is abusive to her actively. It’s clear that this has been happening for a very long time. Then you get this mafia boss-like rival, making for an exciting story.

Also, you get full-out mafia war and domestic abuse. Hero’s storyline is completely ridiculous, and the heroine’s inner dialogue is annoying to me. Overall, I enjoyed the romance and suspense. If you like dark romance with a jealous hero, you must try it first. Look into the content warning before you read it.

psychology jealousy books

Author: Nikita Slater Average Rating: 4.4/5 Tropes: Erotica, Dark, Suspense, Crime, Abuse Number Of Pages: 307 Available: Paperback | Kindle

3. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

I believe that some primary mindfulness meditation practice is essential for anyone who struggles with the rhetoric of jealousy. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is an excellent introduction to meditation, mindfulness practices, etc. It’s a very Westerner-friendly introduction to these practices. He’s a good writer, and the book sold a bajillion copies.

It’s a very well-regarded book and goes into changing the way you feel. The author mainly aims at people suffering from depression, jealousy, and even if you’re not struggling with clinical depression. If you find it difficult to snap yourself out of these dark moods due to retroactive jealousy, you’ll discover feeling good to be a perfect read.

psychology jealousy books

Author: Eckhart Tolle Publisher: New World Library Average Rating: 4.7/5 Tropes: Meditation, Spiritual Self-Help, Philosophy, Psychology Number Of Pages: 236 Item Weight: 12 ounces Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches Available: Audiobook | Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle

4. Dragon Bound (Elder Races)

This is one of my favorite urban fantasy romances with a dragon shifter. Dragos is the only dragon in the world that is old and mighty, and he displays many attributes that are often associated with dragons, including possessiveness over his horde. So, he is jealous and arrogant about his power. Our heroine, Pia, steals something from his horde and leaves a note.

Pia was forced to steal something from his hoard, and she felt bad about it, but he couldn’t believe she had done it. Dragos can’t believe that she left him a note. So she gets on his radar, and he will find her. Once he finds her, he wants to make her his mate.

You’ll love this because you get the found family aspect with all of his sentinels. The people who work for him are also very powerful paranormal, almost in their own right. Also, you get this very jealous, all-powerful male who will do anything for his mate.

psychology jealousy books

Author: Thea Harrison Publisher: Berkley, 1st Edition Award nominee: Goodreads Choice Average Rating: 4.5/5 Tropes: Ghost Romance, Adventure, Dragons, Shapeshifters, Fae, Crime Number Of Pages: 338 Available: Audiobook | Paperback | Mass Market Paperback | Kindle | Audio CD

5. Maybe Next Time (Vegas Nights)

The book doesn’t have as many jealous, possessive scenes, but they exist. The story is about a marriage in crisis and how to deal with a miscarriage. So there is a big content warning for that. How a couple (Kensa & Denver) dealt with their grief wasn’t the healthiest. Instead of it bringing them together, it did drive them apart. So, their marriage is over, and Kensa’s filing for divorce.

So, Denver kidnaps her on vacation. Then she comes to her senses and realizes that they were meant to be together, that he loves her. It is not the way their story ends. I feel like it can throw up red flags for a stalker, marital rape, abuse, etc. But it’s not because they truly are still in love. So the fictional story, both characters are still in love. But they’re having trouble, and it’s going to get fixed.

psychology jealousy books

Author: Christina C. Jones Publisher: Warm Hues Creative Average Rating: 4.7/5 Tropes: Marriage-in-trouble, Second-chance Number Of Pages: 85 Available: Audiobook | Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle | Audio CD

6. Bared to You (Crossfire)

Crossfire is the six-book series following the same couple. They are so toxic, and I love them. I reread the first book, and I found jealousy and toxicity. Gideon Cross is a billionaire with dark hair, blue eyes, six-pack abs, animal magnetism, and cliches. Then we have Eva, who is not a socialite, but her mom is a trophy wife. She is wealthy in her own right, but she works at an advertising agency, and she has a traumatic past and is hiding from that past.

So one thing I liked was their romance and relationship being nontraditional. They both had severe insecurities, jealousy, and certain lines that were very difficult for them because of their past issues. The main problem with this book is the weak character presentation, but the story is good. So, if you continue reading, you will get many jealous, possessive displays from both characters about each other, which I enjoy.

psychology jealousy books

Author: Sylvia Day Publisher: Berkley Average Rating: 4.4/5 Tropes: Psychological Fiction, BDSM, Alpha-male Number Of Pages: 362 Available: Audiobook | Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle | Audio CD

7. Rushed (Adventures in Love)

Our protagonist, Cybil, gets left not at the altar, and she has been dating a boy since high school. The thing I didn’t necessarily love about a conflict is that her fiancee is gay and is in love with a man who he was roommates with in college. He has gone to visit him and has been cheating on her this whole time, but she wasn’t out and had a challenging time coming out.

But I didn’t love that he was the story’s villain and his jealousy. It does get addressed that she understands, but she wishes he would have trusted her with it instead of marrying her to be used as his cover. Cybil has a romance with the ex-military guide, a survivalist, and is very rugged. He is willing to pick up his entire life and go with her. So the book represents many tropes that make it colorful. The hardcover durability and font quality is poor, but the paperback is fantastic to pick.

psychology jealousy books

Author: Aurora Rose Reynolds Publisher: Montlake Average Rating: 4.4/5 Tropes: Romantic Comedy, War, Protective-alpha, Friends-to-lovers, Insta-love Number Of Pages: 223 Available: Audiobook | Paperback | Kindle | Audio CD

Bonus books

The Wisdom of Insecurity : The best book on presenting Mindfulness, gaining a greater perspective on our place in the cosmos and our little problems. Alan Watts is one of the greatest public speakers of all time.

If you search Alan Watts on YouTube, you can find hours of incredible stuff. He was a remarkable speaker, and he was an equally talented writer. So this book is a great read for any retroactive jealousy suffering. When I struggled with retroactive jealousy, it helped me greatly.

Mating in Captivity: It’s an essential read for anyone in a long-term relationship. Esther Perel is a longtime couples counselor, therapist, great author, and good writer. This book is based on decades of working in couples counseling. So it gets into how to keep the fire alive, the passion, and the long-term relationship.

Also, it will be beneficial and relevant to anyone suffering from retroactive jealousy. Reading this book is a significant step you can take toward repairing some of the damage that jealousy is causing your relationship.

5 Romance Books About Jealousy Representation

  • “Something in the Way” by Jessica Hawkins

Series: Something in the Way

This series opener introduces readers to an epic saga of forbidden love. When Manning and Lake meet, an undeniable connection forms, but circumstances and societal norms keep them apart. Lake’s older sister, Tiffany, becomes a source of tension and jealousy as Manning tries to do the right thing by staying away from Lake. The series beautifully explores the painful longing and jealousy that arise from unfulfilled love and societal pressures.

  • “Thoughtless” by S.C. Stephens

Series: Thoughtless

Kiera’s relationship with her devoted boyfriend, Denny, is tested when she develops feelings for Denny’s best friend, Kellan, a local rock star. The ensuing love triangle is a tumultuous exploration of desire, betrayal, and jealousy. As Kiera faces her conflicting emotions, the characters are forced to confront the consequences of their actions and the jealousy that threatens to tear them apart.

  • “The Deal” by Elle Kennedy

Series: Off-Campus

Although “The Deal” starts as a light-hearted new adult romance, it skillfully incorporates themes of jealousy, especially as the relationship between Hannah and Garrett develops. Both protagonists face their insecurities and past traumas, which are compounded by the jealous tensions that arise with the introduction of other romantic interests, testing their burgeoning relationship.

  • “Bully” by Penelope Douglas

Series: Fall Away

Tate and Jared were once best friends, but after Jared turns on Tate, she becomes the target of his aggression. Upon her return after a year away, Tate finds that the dynamics have shifted, and the line between love and hate becomes blurred. The novel explores the jealousy and misunderstandings that fuel their conflict, leading to a complex and intense relationship.

  • “Archer’s Voice” by Mia Sheridan

While not centered around jealousy, “Archer’s Voice” touches on the theme through the external challenges and misunderstandings that arise between Bree and Archer as they build their relationship. The small-town setting and the characters’ past traumas contribute to the tensions and jealousies from external parties that test the strength of their connection. The story is a poignant exploration of overcoming barriers to finding love and understanding.

5 Fiction books about jealousy representation

  • “Othello” by William Shakespeare

One of Shakespeare’s most intense tragedies, “Othello” delves deep into the destructive power of jealousy. The story revolves around Othello, a Moorish general in the Venetian army, and his manipulative ensign, Iago, who, out of jealousy and spite, sets in motion a plot to destroy Othello’s life and marriage to Desdemona. The play is a timeless exploration of jealousy, love, betrayal, and the consequences of unchecked emotions.

  • “My Sister’s Keeper” by Jodi Picoult

This novel explores the complex dynamics within a family dealing with a child’s illness. Anna is genetically engineered to be a donor for her sister Kate, who suffers from leukemia. The story covers medical ethics, family obligations, and the jealousy and guilt that arise from Anna’s role within the family. Picoult masterfully weaves a narrative that questions morality, love, and the jealousies that can emerge from the most well-intentioned decisions.

  • “The Bluest Eye” by Toni Morrison

Toni Morrison’s powerful novel examines issues of race, beauty, and identity through the eyes of Pecola Breedlove, a young African-American girl who dreams of having blue eyes to conform to conventional standards of beauty. The novel explores the jealousy Pecola feels towards girls with lighter skin and blue eyes, delving into the destructive impact of societal and racial prejudices on individual self-esteem and community relationships.

  • “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn

In this thriller, Flynn explores the dark side of marriage and the media’s obsession with sensationalized crime. The disappearance of Amy Dunne unveils the deep-seated jealousy and manipulation within her marriage to Nick Dunne. Through its twisty narrative, “Gone Girl” reveals the complexities of identity, perception, and the lengths to which jealousy and revenge can drive individuals.

  • “Rebecca” by Daphne du Maurier

This classic novel tells the story of a young woman who marries a wealthy widower, Maxim de Winter, and moves to his large estate, Manderley. There, she finds herself living in the shadow of Maxim’s first wife, Rebecca, whose presence is felt everywhere. The novel explores the unnamed protagonist’s jealousy and insecurity as she confronts the legacy of Rebecca and the mysteries surrounding her death. Du Maurier crafts a haunting tale of love, jealousy, and the search for identity.

Through the stories we’ve shared, jealousy has revealed itself not just as a catalyst for conflict but as a mirror to our souls, challenging us to confront the often uncomfortable truths about ourselves and our relationships. These books have offered us a spectrum of perspectives on jealousy, from its destructive force to its potential to lead us toward personal growth and deeper understanding.

Whether you’ve found yourself nodding in recognition, pondering the complexities of human nature, or simply enjoying the drama that jealousy unfurls, we hope this journey has enriched your appreciation for the diverse ways in which literature can capture and illuminate the human experience. Here’s to the next book that will captivate your heart and mind, offering new insights into the emotions that unite and divide us. Happy reading, and may you find both reflection and resolution in the stories you choose to explore next.

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Peter Salovey

The Psychology of Jealousy and Envy Hardcover – Illustrated, 31 Mar. 1991

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  • Book Description
  • Editorial Reviews

After decades of banishment to popular magazines and advice columns, jealousy and envy have emerged as legitimate topics of scientific inquiry. This volume includes chapters from nearly every major contributor to the psychological literature in this area. From emotional, and cognitive processes that underlie jealousy and envy; to the ways these emotions are experienced and expressed within close relationships; to family, societal, and cultural contexts, the volume offers a definitive statement of current theory and research.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF JEALOUSY AND ENVY is must reading for anyone in the close-relationships field, but will be of interest to anyone at all who has ever experienced these emotions or who has been the victim of them in someone else. The book is full of interesting insights....Anyone and everyone will stand to gain from this book not only from an academic standpoint, but from the very practical standpoint of understanding experiences they confront in their everyday close relationships.--Robert J. Sternberg, IBM Professor of Psychology and Education, Yale University This book offers an extremely distinguished set of authors who are all at the forefront of the growing work on jealousy and envy. Salovey has done a great service in pulling together into this one volume these scholars' work on an emotion that almost everyone has felt. This book lays bare the basis for the legitimate scientific study of jealousy and envy and shows how theoretical and empirical developments have culminated in some very strong and broad advances in our knowledge. The book is an outstanding sign of the advances that can be made in understanding the processes of personal relationships and of persons in relationships.--Steve Duck, Ph.D., Daniel & Amy Starch Research Professor, The University of Iowa - Provides the most comprehensive review available of the current state of research on jealousy. It should be very valuable to researchers and clinicians, as well as to graduate students and advanced undergraduates. --Contemporary Psychology, 2/17/1991ƒƒ This excellent book confronts the therapist. How these exciting ideas can be utilized in a clinical setting...is a task that keen therapists will regard as one worth tackling. --Journal of Sex & and Marital Therapy, 2/17/1991

About the Author

Peter Salovey received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Yale University in 1986 where he is presently an associate professor contributing to both the social/personality and clinical psychology programs. His major research interest is the functions of human emotion, especially the manner in which emotions direct cognition, motivate social behavior, and color close relationships. Most recently, Salovey has been concerned with complex emotions such as envy and jealousy, and the influence of emotions on perceptions of health and illness. He is the co-author of PEER COUNSELING (with Vincent J. D'Andrea) and REASONING, INFERENCE, AND JUDGEMENT IN CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY (with Dennis Turk). Salovey is also the editor of the Guilford Emotions and Social Behavior Series.

  • ISBN-10 0898625556
  • ISBN-13 978-0898625554
  • Edition 1st
  • Publisher Guilford Press
  • Publication date 31 Mar. 1991
  • Language English
  • Dimensions 15.8 x 2.95 x 23.39 cm
  • Print length 293 pages
  • See all details

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Guilford Press; 1st edition (31 Mar. 1991)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 293 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0898625556
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0898625554
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 15.8 x 2.95 x 23.39 cm
  • 5,628 in The Self, Ego & Personality
  • 6,186 in Psychology & Emotions
  • 6,874 in Social Psychology (Books)

About the author

psychology jealousy books

Peter Salovey

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Jerold J. Kreisman M.D.

Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline relationships under stress, jealousy stimulates bpd reactions and can threaten the romantic relationship..

Posted February 19, 2024 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

  • What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?
  • Find a therapist to treat BPD
  • A study examined how BPD individuals respond to threats in romantic relationships.
  • Borderline responses to jealous distrust in a mate can be positive/encouraging or negative/threatening.
  • Healthy, supportive, consistent relationships are important for the health of borderline individuals.

Anna was trying real hard to make this relationship work. Maybe Roy would be different from the others. He seemed to appreciate her numerous compliments and thoughtful gifts. He seemed pleased to receive her frequent calls and sexual invitations.

But then she saw him on the phone again, smiling and laughing as he talked to his boss, Margaret. Was that really about work or was he flirting ? Was Margaret plotting to take him away from her? Anna felt those ugly past feelings of jealousy engulfing her again. Her anger mounted. She hated Margaret, whom she hardly knew. And her trust in Roy was fading. The accusations, threats, and crying were coming. She feared she would end up alone again.

Like many suffering from borderline personality disorder , Anna was experiencing the push-pull features that often factor into romantic relations. Desperate fears of abandonment and tendencies to alternately idolize then demonize their partners can sabotage the consistency of romantic relationships with borderline individuals. Patterns of excessive enthrallment and adoration alternate with periods of demands and devaluation. Both contradictory behaviors reflect desperate attempts to hold onto the connection.

Few studies have closely evaluated the dynamics of maintaining borderline relationships, but a recent paper 1 has examined this area. The authors studied mate retention behavior (MRB) in heterosexual couples—one or both of whom exhibited features of BPD—who had remained in a relationship for at least six months. (Individuals who were recruited and paid to participate in the research were not formally diagnosed with BPD utilizing the categorical DSM-5 -TR criteria but satisfied the dimensional Five Factor model of personality and exhibited primary borderline behaviors.) The study revealed that those partners with more severe BPD traits demonstrated greater suspicious jealousy. In response to distrustful jealousy, the study looked at two primary representations of MRB: benefit-providing behavior (expressing support, admiration, and affection with intent to positively affect the partner’s sense of well-being); and cost-inflicting behavior (criticism, threats, aggressiveness, emotional or physical abuse, intending hurtful, manipulative impact). Although both behaviors were exhibited during crises involving jealousy, individuals with more severe BPD traits, both men and women, tended to display more cost-inflicting behaviors, which, naturally, were more detrimental to the relationship.

This study examines how borderline personality communication dynamics confronting insecure jealousy affect maintenance in romantic relations. Consistent, dependable relationships are important for most people experiencing a healthy lifestyle. A pattern of inconsistent and unstable relationships is a defining feature of BPD, and the development of healthy, trusting connections should be a primary goal of treatment and a stimulus for further research.

1. Zeigler-Hill, V., & Vonk, J. Borderline Personality Features and Mate Retention Behaviors: The Mediating Roles of Suspicious and Reactive Jealousy. Sexes 2023, 4 (4), 507-521;

https://doi.org/10.3390/sexes4040033

Jerold J. Kreisman M.D.

Jerold Kreisman, M.D., is a psychiatrist and author of numerous books.

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Peter Salovey

The Psychology of Jealousy and Envy 1st Edition, Kindle Edition

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  • ISBN-13 978-0898625554
  • Edition 1st
  • Sticky notes Not Enabled
  • Publisher The Guilford Press
  • Publication date February 15, 1991
  • Language English
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B000RIJLZU
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ The Guilford Press; 1st edition (February 15, 1991)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ February 15, 1991
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 3702 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Not enabled
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 293 pages
  • #1,633 in Psychiatry (Kindle Store)
  • #2,227 in Social Work (Kindle Store)
  • #2,481 in Psychology of Personalities

About the author

psychology jealousy books

Peter Salovey

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Elia Barbieri

The big idea: this simple behavioural trick can help you get more out of life

Habituation is a key component of human nature, and knowing how to manipulate it can make the things you enjoy even better

Imagine you’re out for dinner at your favourite restaurant and the waiter seats you at the best table. It is nice and quiet, so you can have a pleasant conversation with your partner. The table is also right next to a window with great views. You drink your wine and enjoy some delicious food. The dinner lasts a couple of hours. Do you think you’d enjoy the evening more if you sat at the nice table the whole time, or if you were occasionally sent to the back of the restaurant where it was crowded and noisy?

“Well, that’s a stupid question,” you’re probably thinking. Who would want to go somewhere rowdy if they had a lovely spot exactly where they were? That’s certainly what intuition suggests. But it’s wrong. Studies show that people enjoy good things in life (like listening to music or getting a relaxing massage) more if they break them up into smaller pieces.

A nice table is pleasant, but the joy experienced during the first hour fades over time. The reason? Habituation. That’s our brain’s tendency to respond less and less to things that are constant, that don’t change. As we get used to the pleasant aspects of our life, both big (a loving spouse, a comfortable home, a good job) and small (a great view, a tasty dish), we notice and appreciate them less. Unless, that is, you break up the experience. Moving to the more cramped bit of the restaurant for a while (perhaps to visit the bathroom) will trigger dishabituation, making the luxury of your window seat more salient.

For another example, consider vacations. A few years ago one of us (Tali) went on a work trip to a sunny resort in the Dominican Republic. Her mission was to find out what made holidaymakers happy and why. She interviewed people about their experiences and asked them to fill out surveys. When the data was in, she noticed one word that appeared again and again: first . Vacationers spoke of the joy of “seeing the ocean for the first time”, the “first swim in the pool”, the “first sip of a holiday cocktail”. Firsts seemed hugely important. You cannot habituate to a first.

As firsts usually happen earlier in a vacation, Tali wondered if people had a better time at the start of their trips. Luckily, the large travel company with which she was working had asked customers from around the world to rate their feelings throughout their holidays. Crunching those numbers revealed that joy peaked 43 hours in. At the end of day two, after people had got their bearings, was when they were happiest. Thereafter it was all downhill.

Which is not to say that they found themselves miserable by the end. Even when they returned home, many still benefited from a warm holiday afterglow. Still, less than a week passed by before they quickly adjusted to home life – work, school runs, bills. Within seven days, it was difficult to detect any effect of the time away on their mood.

This evidence suggests that you might benefit most from several small trips spread through the year, rather than one long escape. That way, you will maximise firsts and afterglows, not to mention the pleasure of anticipation, which you will experience more often.

This applies much more generally than holidays, of course. For example, people who were given massages with breaks in between were found to have enjoyed it more than those who weren’t interrupted. Anything that is wonderful will become at least a bit less wonderful over time. Why not take a break, and enjoy it all over again?

What about unpleasant experiences? Should you divide those up too? Imagine you had to clean a toilet. Would you rather do it in one go or take little breaks every 10 minutes? Or suppose that your upstairs neighbour Marvin is practising the drums, and that you can hear the annoying noise loud and clear. Should you make Marvin a cup of coffee so that you both get a break from the bang bang bang of his drumsticks?

Most people want to endure the unpleasantness in chunks. When researchers asked people whether they would like a break from smelling a nasty odour or just have the whole thing over and done with in one go, 90 people said, “Breaks, please!”. The vast majority – 82 out of 119 – also said they wanted a break from an irritating noise. They did so because they believed the experience would be less upsetting with a breather.

It seems like a reasonable prediction, but it isn’t correct. When people were actually exposed to the noise, those who took time out suffered more overall. The break interrupted their natural habituation to the unwelcome stimulus. The lesson? If you need to complete an unpleasant task it would probably be wise not to chop it up. Once you come back, the smell will be worse, the noise louder, and the experience grimmer overall.

There’s some folk wisdom embodied here, perhaps. Exhortations to “get it over and done with”, or “rip off the Band-Aid” are familiar – and in “absence makes the heart grow fonder” we have, perhaps, some age-old advice that recognises the influence of habituation in relationships. But although they’re there in our language, it seems we have a hard time overcoming our intuitions to the contrary. The results of psychological experiments are clear, however, and being mindful of habituation’s powerful effect could help us all experience a bit less pain and a little more pleasure.

Cass Sunstein is university professor at Harvard and the author of Nudge . Tali Sharot is professor of cognitive neuroscience at UCL . Their current book, Look Again: The Power of Noticing What Was Always There is published Bridge Street Press .

Further Reading

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert (HarperCollins, £9.99)

10% Happier by Dan Harris (Yellow Kite, £10.99)

Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman (Penguin, £12.99)

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Staff, faculty offer Valentine’s tips for books that cover what we talk about when we talk about love

Harvard Correspondent

Love stories come in many different forms. For Valentine’s Day, we asked members of the Harvard staff and faculty what books they think about when they think about love. The results mixed fiction with nonfiction, happy romances with tragic insight, all of which make intriguing reading for this holiday.

“Anyone who’s been in love, or even just had a crush, will find themselves in her analyses.” Michelle Interrante, about Anne Carson’s “Eros the Bittersweet”

Book cover: "Anatomy of Love."

Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz

Associate Professors of Psychiatry , Harvard Medical School

Married couple and creative partners Olds and Schwartz wrote a book on lasting relationships, “Marriage in Motion.” Olds shared the couple’s pick: “We loved the Helen Fisher book ‘The Anatomy of Love,’ ” she said. “It is a fascinating description of her observations and research, and her access to the data on a huge sector of the population that participated in Match.com made it even more compelling. She also has a wonderful way of translating her scientific findings for the lay public.”

Book cover: "Eros and the Bittersweet."

Michelle Interrante

Archivist/Records Manage r, Harvard Art Museums Archives

Interrante chose Anne Carson’s look at the Greek concept of love, “Eros the Bittersweet.” “Her subtle observations about love are truly eternal and relatable,” she said. “Anyone who’s been in love, or even just had a crush, will find themselves in her analyses — no prior experience with ancient Greek poetry required!”

“Sometimes, the greatest insights into love can come from reflections on ways love can go wrong.”  Quinn White

Book cover: "The Bridge of San Luis Rey."

Quinn White

Assistant Professor , Department of Philosophy

White’s work focuses on the ethics of love and interpersonal relationships, which may play into one of his picks: Thornton Wilder’s novel “The Bridge of San Luis Rey.” “Sometimes, the greatest insights into love can come from reflections on ways love can go wrong. This short book is well worth everyone’s time and features truly exquisite writing,” he said.

For a second choice, White went with Ursula K. Le Guin’s novel “The Left Hand of Darkness,” which explores the idea of gender fluidity. “Maybe an odd choice, but a deeply moving story, featuring a profoundly unreliable narrator, about the love that can arise even across profound difference. A classic of sci-fi, but highly recommended even for those who don’t normally like science fiction!”

Book cover: "Come as You Are."

Sharon Bober

Associate Professor of Psychiatry , Harvard Medical School

Bober, the founding director of the Sexual Health Program at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, picked “Come As You Are” by sex educator Emily Nagoski, calling it “one of the most delightful, accessible, and deeply useful resources about sexual desire out there. It is an eye-opener for both individuals and couples who want to understand how love, sex, emotion, brain chemistry, and social context are all essentially connected to the experience of desire.” 

“It is an eye-opener for both individuals and couples who want to understand how love, sex, emotion, brain chemistry, and social context are all essentially connected to the experience of desire.”  Sharon Bober, about “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski

Book cover: "Hamnet."

Carol S. Steiker

Henry J. Friendly Professor of Law

“During the pandemic, I read a lot, but for a while I lost the pleasure in it,” said Steiker, who also serves as Harvard Law School’s special adviser for public service. “What broke the dry spell for me was Maggie O’Farrell’s 2020 novel ‘ Hamnet .’ The story draws on facts from Shakespeare’s life to imagine his marriage and his inspiration for writing ‘Hamlet.’  

“Stop reading this if you haven’t read the book, because — spoiler ahead. After Shakespeare’s son Hamnet (a name interchangeable in Elizabethan England with Hamlet) dies, Shakespeare brings him back to life in the young prince Hamlet.

“Shakespeare’s wife unexpectedly comes to London and sees a performance of the play, and the couple, isolated in their separate grief, are drawn together. The love of parents for children and the way in which shared parental love binds a couple to one another are so beautifully rendered.”

Book cover: "Frankissstein."

Patrick Goodsell

Properties Carpenter , American Repertory Theater

Goodsell chose Jeanette Winterson’s “Frankissstein: A Love Story,” “a narrative that oscillates between Mary Shelley writing ‘Frankenstein’ in 1816 and Ry Shelley, a transgender doctor in the present, as they both navigate love and the question of what it means to be human.”

“Slow burn, enemies to lovers, humor and hijinks, pulls at your heartstrings … What more can you ask for?” Madeleine Wright, about “You Deserve Each Other” by Sarah Hogle

Book cover: "The Mysteries of Pittsburgh."

Alexander Rehding

Fanny Peabody Professor of Music

Michael Chabon’s “extraordinary first novel, ‘The Mysteries of Pittsburgh,’” was the theorist and musicologist’s pick. “When it came out, in 1988, I was 18, and the summer of love and adventure during which the story is set really resonated with me at the time — and has stayed with me ever since.”

Book cover: "Beach Read."

Madeleine Wright

Marketing and PR Coordinator , American Repertory Theater

Wright had four picks: “ Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow” by Gabrielle Zevin, which she describes as “a portrait of two Harvard students, inexorably tied to each other through unimaginable pain and extraordinary joy. Sadie and Sam are the epitome of platonic soulmates.” “ This Time Tomorrow,” by Emma Straub: “Heartfelt and singular, this novel’s portrayal of the love between a father and daughter will prompt you to pick up the phone and call your loved ones the moment you stop crying.” “ Beach Read,” by Emily Henry: “This novel is exactly what it claims to be — a feel-good, lighthearted love story with a literary bent and charming characters who will stick with you long after its close.” And finally, “ You Deserve Each Other,” by Sarah Hogle: “Slow burn, enemies to lovers, humor and hijinks, pulls at your heartstrings … What more can you ask for?”

Book cover: "The Lover."

Barbara Claire Lindstrom

Receptionist and Volunteer Coordinator , American Repertory Theater

To explain her pick, “The Lover” by Marguerite Duras, Lindstrom simply quoted from the lush seductive work: “One day, I was already old, in the entrance of a public place a man came up to me. He introduced himself and said, ‘I’ve known you for years. Everyone says you were beautiful when you were young, but I want to tell you I think you’re more beautiful now than then. Rather than your face as a young woman, I prefer your face as it is now. Ravaged.’”

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LAW AND EMOTIONS IN WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S PLAYS International Seminar

18-19 June 2024, University of Szczecin and online

Law and emotions are closely intertwined. Emotions are inherent in many areas of the law. They affect the legal decision-making process, are the root cause of crimes involving passion and premeditation, and last but not least reflect upon social attitudes toward justice. The study of law and emotions has flourished since the publication of "The Passions of Law" (edited by Susan Bandes) in 1999. This seminal collection of essays has sparked scholarly interest in the topic, ignited an ongoing debate among experts from different fields, and offered new methods of scrutinising the correlations between law and emotions. As literature serves as a window into human thoughts and emotions, there is no better way to probe the intersections between law and emotions than through the examination of literary works. William Shakespeare's literary endowment offers a wealth of analysis. His plays and sonnets feature a wide range of human feelings, including love, hatred, grief, revenge, and jealousy, to name a few. In depicting human emotions, Shakespeare utilised the law.

Drawing from multidisciplinary perspectives of law, psychology, history, philosophy and literature, we would like to provide a forum to address the role of emotions in William Shakespeare's plays and their affinities with the law. We welcome research into various aspects of the law, emotions and affect in Shakespeare's literature.

Titles of presentations should be submitted by 30 April 2024 to Katarzyna Jaworska-Biskup ( [email protected] ).

The seminar will take place on 18-19th June 2024, at the University of Szczecin, Poland and online.

Accepted papers will be published in "Rocznik Komparatystyzny" Volume 15/2024 (edited by Maciej Jońca), subject to peer review. The deadline for full papers is 31 October 2024.

The potential submissions include, but are not limited to, the following:

  • emotions, crime and punishment;
  • emotions as dynamic forces of legal actions;
  • legal and criminological narratives of emotions;
  • emotional states and psychological disorders of Shakespeare's dramatis personae (as viewed from historical and contemporary vistas);
  • emotions as reflections of social fears and phobias;
  • translating and performing emotions;
  • reimagining and rediscovering emotions in contemporary adaptations of
  • Shakespeare's works;
  • gender, class and emotions;
  • emotions and the legal process;
  • emotions, minority cultures and the law.

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